The Home for Odd, Ugly and Neglected Toys

Ugly Balls for a Hasty Bloodsucker

Ugly Balls for a Hasty Bloodsucker

You know what? I'm not the all-knowing weirdo toy guy you think I am. Sometimes it's you guys who introduce me to cool, weird toys.

... And I thank you.

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Hasty Dracula

Like this guy for example. I never knew he existed.

This little gem of a toy came to me from a new virtual buddy of mine, Michael Bukowski. He's the author of an awesome toy blog, Blarghhh Spot, dedicated solely to balls. Not just any kind of balls... mainly Madballs and other related bootlegs and knockoffs. You should definitely check it out.

Mike actually contacted me months ago proposing a toy trade (I always like getting those kind of emails).

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Monster Heads

Among the photos, I was really drawn to these awesome monster head things (I have no clue what they are, but they may appear again in a future blog entry)...

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Hasty Dracula

... and this awesome, Japanese Dracula bank called Hasty Dracula.

I immediately fell in love with the vintage manga design style. Not only that, but with a peculiar name like "Hasty Dracula," I had to have it. I decided to trade. Luckily for me, I had some rare balls on hand.

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Mini Sadballs

I had these horribly ugly mini-sadballs in my possession...

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Screamin' Meemie

... and I just happened upon a rare, plastic, water-squirting Screamin' Meemie Madball while I was in South Africa.

Hasty Dracula would be mine. I was already pretty excited to get the toy/bank, but I didn't know how great it was 'til I saw it in action.

I'll let you see it for yourself.

I love how the bank is like a characterized Rube Goldberg device. You don't just drop the money in the coin slot. That'd be too simple and no fun at all.

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Hasty Dracula

You actually drop a coin in Dracula's back (notice the giant, red syringe – weird)...

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Hasty Dracula

... wind him up, and wait as he climbs his ladder...

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Hasty Dracula

... to undoubtedly accost his next victim.

Luckily for the lady, when Drac reaches the top of the ladder, he loses his balance and falls into a tree –

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Hasty Dracula

Depositing the coin into a slot in the tree.

What an awesome way to save a quarter.

For the small size of this bank (approx. 7" tall), the automation is surprisingly accurate... and painfully slow (that's why I jazzed up the video).

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Hasty Dracula

And once the bank is full, there's a removable cap on the bottom where you can release all 6 coins you've saved. Ha!

There are a couple of drawbacks to this toy I'd like to mention. The first is the fact that I can't remove the Dracula figure from the ladder. He'd be a cool little standalone wind-up vampire toy, and he's forever imprisoned on his ladder. Unfair. I've tried prying him off that ladder, but it feels like I'll break his arms if I push it much more. Damn.

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Hasty Dracula

The second drawback is the fact that the diorama is basically a thin piece of cardboard. I like the drawing, and it totally sets up the story, but I'm still disappointed. It's kind of like the feeling I had as a kid when I saw that Cobra's base was a glorified piece of cardboard.

Hasty Dracula
Hasty Dracula package photo courtesy of

Oh! Here's a packaging pic I swiped from According to their site, the bank was released in the 80s by Toplay TPS Japan and distributed in Italy by ALES. (Dracula actually looks a bit like The Count from Sesame Street in that pic.)

In closing, I'm still left wondering why Dracula doesn't just transform into a bat and fly to the window. It'd be a lot quicker, stealthier and a less painful landing. In fact, isn't this approach the opposite of hasty? It takes time and effort to locate a ladder, set it up and climb up to the window. Not only that, but is he actually going to draw blood from her with that syringe instead of biting here? Maybe he's not a vampire at all – just one of those goth, poseur wannabes! If that's true, it makes this Dracula more of a knock-off Dracula. Perfect!

10 Responses

  1. Oldman says:

    Six quarters at a time? Well, this will go good in the baby’s room when he
    starts his college fund. Congrats on making the top fifty toy websites also.
    Another great post to keep your fans happy.

    • Well, I was just being sarcastic about the 6 quarters. The bank can hold more, it just seemed goofy for the money storage to be confined to that tree trunk.

      Oh, and thanks on the Top 50 thing. I’m honored to be on the list, but I’ve never even heard of the list or the voting or anything. It’s good to have fans :-D

  2. pickleloaf10 says:

    @WeirdoToys still highly jealous of your toys

  3. pickleloaf10 says:

    RT @WeirdoToys: Dracula has lost his touch. Now he needs a ladder & a syringe to feed off his victims. Old age finally got to him – http …

  4. Irregularcog says:

    RT @WeirdoToys: Dracula has lost his touch. Now he needs a ladder & a syringe to feed off his victims. Old age finally got to him – http …

  5. Ben says:

    Trading awesome for awesome is even more awesome.

    And Hasty Bloodsucker proves that Japanese interpretations of anything are bound to be more awesome than our fat, lazy American minds can possibly comprehend.

  6. Somarinoa says:

    This is amazing and reminds me of the olden day fun-banks that I used to see and get to play with when I was a child growing up in my small fishing village of a home up in Alaska. This is slightly less racist, however.

    Definitely one of the coolest banks I’ve ever seen. Wholly trumps my old 1-2″ tall plastic Bart Simpson one I used to have, where you shoved metal through his neck and ripped off his head to get back at it. He was also filled originally with like 100 bite-sized butterfingers…I should try and find another one to replace my MIA one. That’s totally a better idea than completing my art commission pieces or applying to jobs!! One step closer to homelessness, arright!!

  7. Josh.A says:

    I am so glad I have finally found someone else with a love for weird toys like these.
    If you have ANY knock-off or bootleg Madballs for sale…I would be most interested :)


  8. I had totally forgotten about madballs untill I saw that picture. My brother and I had quite a few. Nice find. Makes me wonder what my parents did with all of our toys….

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