I recently attended a toy show where I dug up what could be some of the most obscure 80s toys in existence. (Sounds pretty dramatic, huh? Well, maybe the most obscure toys I own.)
Seriously though. Look at these guys. It’s a freakin’ oatmeal monster and the Quaker Oats guy as a He-Man figure.
I’m not a huge collector of the Masters of the Universe (MOTU) toyline, but I had the toys as a child. I am pretty familiar with the original MOTU toyline and all of its characters, variations, etc., but I have never seen or heard of this guy. Ever. There are tons of other blogs and toy sites that are dedicated strictly to the MOTU toyline, and according to them this figure doesn’t exist. It actually reminds me of the infamous “Wonderbread He-Man.”
Alright. I’d like to buy that this figure doesn’t exist and that this is just someone’s really lame idea for a MOTU custom… thing is, I can’t. The paint job is just too good, the head too well-sculpted and then there’s this – along with the figure came this little sheet of paper.
It’s a small bio thing explaining that this is Quakor and he helps He-man and the gang stay healthy. It reads:
Quakor: Heroic Purveyor of Health
Quakor with the help of his Instant Quaker Oatmeal assists He-Man and his Heroic Warriors in keeping their strength everyday to do battle with Skeletor and his Evil Warriors.
Quakor?! HA! That’s so bad, it’s good.
And man, that’s some lame, blatant marketing going on there. Heroic Purveyor of Health? Ha!
I also found this little order form. I’m guessing it was packed in the Instant Quaker Oatmeal boxes.
Apparently Quakor is a mail-away figure from the Quaker Oats company which was produced in partnership with Mattel. I’m all about exclusive or mail-away toys, but the fact that this thing even exists seems absurd. Sure, it’s just a simple repaint of the Prince Adam toy with a new head, but a super-buff Quaker character seems soooo poorly planned. Just a bad, bad idea.
But it doesn’t stop there.
As I showed you earlier, there’s this guy – the Oatmeal Monster. It’s actually another toy offer Quaker did for a character called Mush Man.
He’s actually pretty cool looking. Seems to be the evil embodiment of mushy oatmeal.
Thing is, why the hell would you promote your own oatmeal product as a monster? Ha!
I do admit, it makes for a cool looking toy which cashes in on the 80s “gross” phase. It just seems a bit out-of character, that’s all.
As soon as I laid eyes on Mush Man, I knew I recognized him. He seems to just be a simple re-deco of a figure called Muck Man from an obscure 80s toyline called “Monster Man” by Woolworth.
The original Muck Man has a gray/purple color scheme while Mush man is just beige.
(Yep. That’s oatmeal alright. Beige.)
I’m not sure if this guy was released before or after Quakor, but they kind of make a fun set. The Quaker man vs. the walking pile of oatmeal. Who’d a thunk it?
So there ya go. Did I over-dramatize the obscurity of these things? I guess I just got excited.
If any of you Masters of the Universe collectors out there can help me validate Quakor, that’d be great. Thanks!
Now I’ve seen Everything LOL!
This is quite simply amazing! I think this is my favorite thing you’ve ever posted here!!!
This is an april fools joke right?
Or…someone was dedicated enough to make the fake mail in form
That head looks a little CGI though. HRM…
This is great! Can I go out on a limb and ask if this is April Fool’s? Either way, I love it.
I actually had the lizard man from the monster man line. I had totally forgotten about those. I think they were knock offs of the Inhumanoids. I’m pretty sure I got him at Woolworths.
Only wish they’re was a buff Uncle Ben and curvy Aunt Jemima to go along. Brillant “find” Gammo!
Muck Monster are always cool, even more so when they along breakfest treats…
Quakor has got to win the top slot of “weirdest toy” on this blog. Have you thought about having a “weirdy awards” contest on the blog?
Could be fun.
OK, I need a Mush Man like right now.
It’s really cool that you finally found one of those. I’m so glad Quakor and Fearless Photog made it to the production stage so that many fans around the world can enjoy them.
Mmmmm, makes me want a big heaping bowl of instant oats right now. I have the power!!!!!
Great post. That time off really did you good. I look forward as do many
for each new posting. Keep up the good work. Andrew would be proud
if he could read yet.
Man, I was sure these were customs! Amazing find!
I recognize Mush Man and I think I remember the proposed play set for Quaker that had an adobe facade.
You got me dude, I actually believed it. Excellent job with the trade ads, that’s what sold it for me.
Hey, Sorry I didn’t get back to anyone on this. I was trying to stay low key while the April 1 gag was going on, but I forgot to get back to ya. I’m glad you enjoyed the “prank.” I enjoyed making it. Thanks for dropping by.
MOTU 1: Look at these guys. It’s Quakor and a freakin’ oatmeal monster! http://t.co/sqoLk7H #toys #supercool
I wish these were real
Weird 80’s action figure "Quakor – Heroic Purveyor of Health" haha – http://t.co/341iGt48 #mastersoftheuniverse
This is an absolutely flawlessly executed post. Well done, sir.