I know I’ve been MIA on the blog lately, and unfortunately, I’m going to be gone for just little while longer. I’m even staying off Twitter for a couple of weeks. But before I escape the internet for a while, I’d like to leave you with some weirdo tidbits.
It’s another Twitter Roundup and Weirdo Searches. It’s been a while, so here we go.
First up is the Twitter roundup. I’ve become a lot more active since I started doing these “roundups.” If you aren’t following me on Twitter, then you’re missing out on some random toys and things that never make it to the blog. You’ll also get a glimpse of my boring, day-to-day existence. I think most folks stay for the toys.
(Plus, that little tab on the left side of screen can show you what you’ve been missing)
Here’s a small sampling of what you might have missed.
And now on to the coveted “Weirdo Searches.”
For those who are out of the loop, I used to occasionally tweet some bizarre Google searches I’d find when reviewing my site analytics. That eventually grew to a 10-20 point list I’d publish here. It’s been nearly a year since my last list. A new one is long overdue.
Well, here’s a look at some funny bizarre things people have searched, since the beginning of the year, to get to my site:
17. “goofy jesus”
Is that a fun-loving Jesus or a new Disney spinoff?
16. “apple sells out to the devil”
Just reminded me of Apple Devil. That’s all.
15. “disturbed mascot toy sale”
I’d like to be at that toy sale.
14. “why am i such a random gross weirdo?”
I dunno. Been wondering the same myself.
13. “creepy ugly old woman pictures”
12. “brick walls and wire intestines”
Sounds like the makings of a brick-and-mortar robot.
11. “archives of a naked future”
The future is now. It’s called porn on the internet.
10. “cutting off a monster head and growing back two”
9. “danny glover looks like a gorilla”
That seems so wrong… ’til I saw that still from the King Kong movie.
8. “squeeze a dinosaur and it vomits on you-toy”
I want this toy.
7. “japanese mayo ‘video game'”
Sounds weird. If it’s Japanese, I’m sure it is.
6. “just got asked if i’d like my gammon rare”
Gammons are inherently rare I think.
5. “does ben grimm have genitals”
I’m not sure, but I overheard Johnny Storm admit Ben’s got some “stones” on ‘im.
4. “gorilla toys that act real but they are not”
They’re definitely more fun if they’re not real. Less Genital and face mutilation.
3. “bootleg underwear”
The real thing is just too expensive.
2. “constipated turtle”
Kinda redefines “a turtle head poking out.”
1. “i need a birthday cake that looks like a body after an autopsy”
Ha! Now that’s just weird. I need to see that. Lemme Google it quickly…
… Ah. Found photos of Michael Jackson. Scary.
That’s it for today kiddos! Enjoy yourselves and stay weird. I’ll catch up with you again in Mid-April!
This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 at 1:01 am
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Tags: Google Search, toys, Twitter
Posted in: Recap
Have fun on your journey. Awaiting your return along with
many good write ups I’m sure.
Honestly, every time you do these searches, I think of great ideas for a sketch comedy show. Just the mere mention of “constipated turtle” is funnier than anything they do on Saturday Night Live these days.
holy shit! i can’t believe you found the witch Underworld Warrior!!!
Those shelves full of crazy toys look AWESOME!!!
i came across this picture online, not nearly as creative as the Underworld Warriors, but definitely the same body mold.
Okay, your Moss Man pose, not gonna lie – that looks like daddy’s a pedophile totally banging the little boy. Just HAD to mention that…
Don’t worry, you’re not the first to point that out. Ha!
It’s pretty difficult to make it look like a warm embrace with those facial expressions.
You probably know by now, but that Kaiju is actually Hedorah, aka the Smog Monster, from Godzilla Vs The Smog Monster. It’s a little chitnzy, and the colors are off, but that is definitely him (it?).